change, choosing love, happiness, life, love, marriage, Uncategorized

​The broken road. . .

 

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Have you ever had your heart so broken that you probably thought you would never be able to recover? I’ve been reflecting on what has been of my life recently and what I always imagined it would be like. During teen years I believe we have a good amount of heartbreak. Either caused by our friends, family, decisions, and relationships. I personally believe those heartbreaks are the ones that set the road for the rest of our lives.

Out of all the multiple heartbreak and disappointments I’ve gone through, there have been many situations I’ve played over and over again in my head and I always ask myself this question, is this destiny or is this consequences of my actions? Is my life already written? Does God really have a plan for me? Can I change my destiny? Am I getting what I deserve and asked for? Is this the platform for the rest of my life?

Not only did I see a broken road ahead of me before the sun. I saw darkness and fear. I had this giant doubt within myself and what I was capable of doing. I remember telling God and no longer asking him for it but demanding him that I NEEDED CHANGE. I said, “give me what you want as long as it’s what I need.” I kid you not it took less than 3 months and God put me in my place. PRAYER TRULY IS POWERFUL.

The course of this recent and past year has been very eye-opening to me and has truly made me a huge believer that God gives you not what you ask for but what you need. God has mended aches in my heart from the past and has truly given me what I needed to heal. When I believed all was lost and all was gone he had a plan for me all along. I just needed to be patient and listen. Heartbreak I believed I would never recover from literally lead me down a path to a life I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams.

God has placed me on this road that sometimes it’s hard not to question or doubt because it has brought me the most wonderful blessings ever. Although they say God never makes mistakes it hard when at times it feels so surreal. The heartbreaks and the past mistakes have been definitely been worth it all. I would do it all over again if I knew it would lead me down this path. To where now I have this self-esteem that NO ONE could ever take from me. I have faith that is stronger than ever and most importantly where I have a home with a husband that loves me unconditionally and takes me for who I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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choosing love, happiness, life, love, marriage, Uncategorized

Timeline

My Life Plan (Plan B)

As I think about all the things I wanted to accomplish and things I’ve already have. I can’t help but think to myself, did I do it in the wrong order? Is there even a correct order for things to be done? School, work, save money, get engaged, get married, buy a home and build a family. If we think about it people will always believe that is the “correct” or right way of doing things but is it really?

I used to believe there was a specific way to do things. I was that girl who wanted to do it all in order. I HAD A TIMELINE. Which at the end I never followed. Thinking about it now if I would have followed my timeline, I would probably not be sitting here typing my thoughts. I’d probably still be in a school somewhere stressing or maybe be done with it. I would probably still be dating my husband and be super stressed out about life and why my life isn’t going according to my timeline.

When my husband and I decided to get married, I hadn’t even finished my degree. We had no clue where to even start. We had no idea how much money we needed to have or anything. We winged it and went day by day. We decided to set a date and tell our immediate family. We went on that year in college and finished our Associate’s degree that spring. He already had his career going and I was just getting started with mine. That year we began to save and see where life would take us from there.

A year later without being married, my husband started talking about where we would live. We had an idea we wanted to own a home before tying the knot but weren’t sure if it was an option yet. My husband has always been a businessman and said owning a property would be a much better investment than renting a home or apartment. So we set out to look for our home and found it 4 months before we were set to get married. Honestly, my heart dropped. I was excited, confused and scared. I was worried about what we got ourselves into. I was worried about our timeline.

Let me tell you guys it has been one of the best decisions and blessings of our lives. Having your own home and having your privacy is amazing and much needed! Thinking of my beliefs and our timeline I decided I would not move in yet. Our parents, my husband, and his family are very traditional and we all agreed on waiting to live together until after we got married. That is something I am definitely proud of because it was worth the wait and was part of my timeline.

Looking at our lives now and the turns the world takes is amazing. We didn’t follow the complete order of my timeline, but we are happy and that is all that matters. Everything now we are just taking day by day. I have a whole lifetime to get things done and now I have someone to be with me in all my journeys. I feel so much more motivated to do bigger and better things for my husband and our future family. As of now, we don’t have a timeline. We are just taking life day by day and following the path God has for us.

 

 

happiness, life, love, Uncategorized

Life is too short . .

Memories and love is all that are left of us when we leave this world. We won’t take anything with us. All the materialistic stuff and all the money we have will stay behind. We will only take all our memories, regrets and dreams along. Our families will be left with everything that once matter to us, but I bet you they would appreciate the memories with us more than anything else we left behind.

A couple of months ago I vowed to grow and live my life to the best of my ability. If I’m being quite honest here, I have not been doing my job. I’ve been stuck in my bad thoughts and the negativity that hopefully will exit my body soon. I’ve allowed unimportant things affect my life and health. Part of growing and living a healthier life is pushing forward and staying positive which I strive to do everyday.

I’ve come to learn that life can be so short and fragile. One minute you’re here and then in a blink of an eye you’re not. Imagine spending your evening getting ready for the following day. Packing your lunch, ironing your clothes and brushing your teeth all to go to bed and wake up in the morning. What if this morning you didn’t wake up? What if you passed away in your sleep? What would be your first thought?

Recently my husband’s family had a family member pass away. Someone very young with so much life ahead of them. I’m not getting much into detail because it is too personal for the family. I think at this point the families main thoughts are what would have been is now what could have been. What she was going live and experience that she’ll never live now. This experience is very eye opening for everyone. It really makes you evaluate your life and see what truly matters.

I hope that when time ever runs out for me, I accomplished everything I set out to do. I want to look back and realize I didn’t miss out on the best years of my life. I want to know I lived a full life filled with lots of lessons and love. Life is so short to be spent on regrets, sadness, and anger. My life here on this earth is so precious and I need to live it the best to my ability.

 

 

 

 

life, love, toxic

Too much love

Is there a thing as loving too much? Or caring too much about someone?

Could too much love or attention hurt someone rather than help them? In any relationship should love and attentions be measured? How much love is too little or too much?

Personally in my own life I am a strong lover. I love immensely, deeply and madly. I care so much for my love ones, especially my sisters they are my world. I’ve always thought that too much love when it comes to them can be a little toxic. Sometimes I know I can be a little too much to handle. I need to give them enough love, tough love and space as well.

My sister Jass is the perfect example of an expert at giving tough love. She literally gives everyone tough love especially me. She doesn’t sugar coat things and I admire her so much for that. She has taught me so much especially how to be a better person. Jasmine has the type of personality that you can only give her so much love before she gets annoyed or tells you not to touch her or especially hug her. She hates hugs. I love hugs I’m a huger and sometimes I’ll hug her just to piss her off LOL

My other sister is the complete opposite of Jass and myself. She is the baby, she loves attention and love. According to her she hates when we baby her, but honestly we all know how sensitive she is and if we don’t show her love she’s like “what am I, a roach?” She has such a funny humor and sass. She’s a little sassy version of me. I love to give her so many attentions and love, but I know spoiling her isn’t always best. She can be so loving when she gets her way and it makes me so happy when she comes around and shows me more affection than usual, but she can also be so sassy when she’s in a bad mood.

I feel like each person in a way can only handle so much love. whether it’s needed or desired. Love is like power, give someone too much power and it gets to their head. Love can be measured and honestly in my opinion it should only be given when deserved. Sometimes you give lots of love and attentions to someone who won’t truly appreciate it or acknowledge it. Love can be powerful, but can also be dreadful it can drain you and make you toxic when it has been given to the wrong people.

happiness, life, love, marriage

5 Things you wish you knew before you got married.

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1. Love is not ENOUGH to sustain a healthy marriage. Loving each other immensely is very important, but just love it self will not hold your marriage together. Marriage requires time, attention and love. Think of your marriage as a plant. Plants require nurture, water and sun. You can’t expect your plant to survive if you don’t give it the attention it needs.

2. The house is not self cleaning. Cleaning is something you both will either be good at or completely horrible at *inserts @ Husband name* LOL

My “Clean” is not my husbands “clean.” He has a whole different way of cleaning on his own which I personally like to call “Half ass cleaning.” Cleaning or getting used to a cleaning routine will definitely be difficult at first.

3. You won’t always agree. I’d be lying if I said my husband and I always agree and we’re always on the same page. We do agree on major decisions, but sometimes I disagree just for fun. Just kidding LOL

Not but seriously some times agreeing on certain things is difficult, but having good communication skills and listening to one another helps a lot.

4. It’s not just you anymore its US. Before I said  ” I do” Fr. Jaime made it very clear that we would become one. He honestly had a point there. Oscar and I have always had a very good communicative relationship, but now its on a whole new different level. Our love has grown and flourish so wonderful these past couple months. He is truly my soul mate and it excites me to think of all the wonderful things we will face together.

5. It has been worth it all. Marrying my husband has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. I honestly feel I won the lottery with this man. He is such an inspiration to me and all who know him. Oscar is such a kind hearted man. He loves to see the good in all, which is the complete opposite of myself. He completes me and I can’t imagine my life with out my husband.

 

I love you bear!

choosing love, happiness, love, self care, self-love

Choosing love

Love over everything.

Decision making hasn’t always been my strength. I over think everything literally EVERYTHING, but I’ve made the decisions to choose love always.

These past few days I’ve had to make some changes and decisions in my life. I’ve been trying to remove myself from toxic situations and toxic people. I’ve been trying to surround myself more by loved ones and positive energy.

I’ve come to realize that God, my family and my husband are all I need. I don’t need anything more. I want to be happy and enjoy my love ones. I want to build memories I can look back on when I’m older. I want to live a life filled with love. Enormous amount of love and joy.

I know not everything will always be happiness in this world. There will be times where God will challenge me and things will make me doubt myself and my faith, but with God’s love I will rise to the occasion and with the love and care of my loved ones, I will flourish.

I will choose love always. I will let go of all that have hurt me, doubted me and betrayed me. I will no longer give into the hurt they’ve caused me before. I will forgive myself for allowing those to hurt me. I will choose love.

 

change, choosing love, happiness, life, love, self care, self-love

Growing

Do you ever just feel like you haven’t grown enough? Or you grew to fast?

Growing is such a complex word that can be used in various ways. You can grow in your faith, grow in your career and grow out of love and grow in love. These past few days and months have been such a growing process for me. I’ve been trying to figure out so many changes in my life.

I’ve been growing in love, in faith and growing in the power of believing in myself. I’ve decided to continue my passions and do what is best for me and my loved ones. In my process of growing I’ve realize I have become more aware of others feelings besides my own. I have realized that in order for my happiness to grow within myself it has to grow with my loved ones as well.

My husband has been the light of my eyes for the past 7 years and has helped me to grow in my faith and in my happiness. If I had to describe him in one word it would be light. He is a little ray of sunshine that lights up everything and everyone that crosses his path. Seeing his passion for growth in everything he does motivates me. He believes in growing and learning everyday.

Growing in his faith, in his knowledge and in his success is something he inspires to do every single day. He has pushed me to my limits. He has pushed me to grow out of my comfort zone and believe in myself and in anything I do. Growing alongside with my husband and by myself will be a long process, but I believe that with god and the power of love anything is possible.

I am determined to continue to grow in my faith because without god nothing in my life will be possible. I will continue to grow in love with my husband and everything that we do. I will grow in believing in myself,  in my passions, in my happiness and not let ANYTHING get in the way of my growing process.