marriage

One year. . . Later

If I had to describe this whole year in just one word it would be LOVE.

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We made it! We went a whole year without strangling each other. A whole year that literally flew by. I know this is just the beginning and I can’t wait for the rest of the years to come. Love deeply, deeply in love. Happy, blessed and excited. The amount of feelings I’m feeling is unbelievable.

First and foremost I want to thank my Lord for blessing us. For loving us and watching over this marriage. For watching over our love and passion for one another. Thank you to all our family and friends that have guided us and have given us nothing but love and wonderful advice this past year. We truly appreciate you all.

 

To my husband,

Thank you for your patience, companionship, and love. Thank you for the new adventures and situations we faced. Thank you for loving me unconditionally even though I didn’t cook every day and turned some of your clothes pink. Thank you for learning with me. Learning to love each more and embrace each other’s flaws. This year has been such a blessing. Not only did I learn to always remember to check for red or pinks in the white basket, but I also learned a new kind of love. The kind of love that has to be patient, kind and forgiving. The kind of love that hopefully will last a lifetime. Happy One Year Anniversary my love!

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choosing love, happiness, life, love, self-love

Open letter to my sisters

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To my sisters,

I know this is probably something you guys will find super cheesy and whatnot, but I just want to show and express my love for you two. I know we see each other every other day but I truly do miss you guys and all the dumb shit you guys always do at home and at public places. Especially all those afternoons we would just sit around and do nothing but talk and eat. I love you rats!

I don’t say it enough, and I don’t think I ever possibly could, but I love you. You guys are my bests of friends. There is no one that will understand me like you guys. I honestly don’t know how I got so lucky two have such great amazing somewhat loving sisters like you lol. I know at times I can be very persistent (bossy) but I think that’s an older sibling trait. I just want to see you succeed and never settle for less. I want you to always remember that you are one of a kind and know your worth. Know you are unique, intelligent, and loved very very loved. By myself, mom and dad and anyone that’s lucky enough to see what a wonderful person you are.

I wouldn’t trade you guys for the world. Unless student loans took sisters as a form of a full payment (kidding) LOL. You guys are my best friends and pretty much my only friends lol, but I don’t mind it. I’ve always preferred to keep my circle small and we’re as small as it can get. I love sharing all my joy and even my sadness with you. I love being able to just give you a call and know that if I need anything you are there without any hesitation. I don’t think I’ll ever have such reliable friends as Y’all.

During the course of this year, I learned so many great things. I’ve learned myself worth. I’ve learned I’m capable of pretty much anything if I discipline myself. I’ve learned especially that my family is the only most important thing in my life and without you guys, anything I have would have no value at all. I need my family. I love you guys. My little sisters are my true motivation. You guys are my motor and support system along with our parents and my amazing husband. I don’t know what I would do without you guys. I love you guys so much!

 

change, happiness, life, love, marriage, mom

“Marriage is hard”​

First and foremost let me start by saying  I am not a professional nor a specialist in the matter, but I am a wife and it’s close enough LOL.

Marriage is hard. No, really it is so “hard.” When I lived at home it was so nice. Sure I had rules, mandated chores, and a curfew.  Now that I have my own home I have “freedom” and chores lots and lots of chores. Cleaning, cooking, and laundry have become those really annoying friends I just can’t seem to get rid of, no matter how much I’ll avoid my house they’re still there waiting for me when I get home. I don’t mind the cooking I love to cook, but I hate doing dishes. Ps. Husband, if you’re reading this, for Christmas I want a dishwasher! Also, laundry is hard to get done when you’re home alone and you have a fear of basements “tehehe.”

Before I got married my mom warned me I was going to miss her and that marriage is hard and it’s not easy. She was somewhat right. I miss her tons! I mostly miss her cooking alongside her support when doing chores.  When she mentioned marriage was difficult I imagined that maybe she meant Oscar and I would not agree often or get along or God knows what. I have to say she was actually wrong about that. A lot of people told us “marriage is hard.” We heard that repeatedly along with “The first year of marriage is the hardest.” I beg to differ because that was a lie, well in our experience so far. The only thing we disagree the most about is what we’re watching on Netflix tonight LOL.

Marriage to some people can perhaps seem like the end, but to us it is just the beginning. Oscar is such a patient, loving husband. I am seriously very lucky. He doesn’t ask me to cook every day. He doesn’t expect the house to always be clean and guys homeboy does his OWN LAUNDRY and sometimes mine! When I sneak a few things in his basket LOL. Oscar is my ideal dream husband. I love to cook and clean for him as crazy as that sounds. Somedays I’m extremely tired from work and I order pizza and he is the happiest because that’s his favorite anyways. My point is marriage isn’t so hard for us yet. Perhaps things change when you add a tiny roommate to the mix, but as of now, we’re good.

I’m not going to lie when we got married I was scared. I feared that everyone that said to us “marriage is hard” would be right. I feared we wouldn’t find our rhythm in life. That our busy careers would be too much or that coming from different managed households would affect us and it hasn’t. I have to say we did find our rhythm and we have been dancing away these past ten months so in love. I do believe marriage could be hard or difficult when there isn’t much communication or compromise, but marriage is like any other relationship or friendship. In order for it to work, you have to give the same amount of what you take in order to receive.

Happy ten months my love!

change, choosing love, happiness, life, love, marriage, Uncategorized

​The broken road. . .

 

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Have you ever had your heart so broken that you probably thought you would never be able to recover? I’ve been reflecting on what has been of my life recently and what I always imagined it would be like. During teen years I believe we have a good amount of heartbreak. Either caused by our friends, family, decisions, and relationships. I personally believe those heartbreaks are the ones that set the road for the rest of our lives.

Out of all the multiple heartbreak and disappointments I’ve gone through, there have been many situations I’ve played over and over again in my head and I always ask myself this question, is this destiny or is this consequences of my actions? Is my life already written? Does God really have a plan for me? Can I change my destiny? Am I getting what I deserve and asked for? Is this the platform for the rest of my life?

Not only did I see a broken road ahead of me before the sun. I saw darkness and fear. I had this giant doubt within myself and what I was capable of doing. I remember telling God and no longer asking him for it but demanding him that I NEEDED CHANGE. I said, “give me what you want as long as it’s what I need.” I kid you not it took less than 3 months and God put me in my place. PRAYER TRULY IS POWERFUL.

The course of this recent and past year has been very eye-opening to me and has truly made me a huge believer that God gives you not what you ask for but what you need. God has mended aches in my heart from the past and has truly given me what I needed to heal. When I believed all was lost and all was gone he had a plan for me all along. I just needed to be patient and listen. Heartbreak I believed I would never recover from literally lead me down a path to a life I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams.

God has placed me on this road that sometimes it’s hard not to question or doubt because it has brought me the most wonderful blessings ever. Although they say God never makes mistakes it hard when at times it feels so surreal. The heartbreaks and the past mistakes have been definitely been worth it all. I would do it all over again if I knew it would lead me down this path. To where now I have this self-esteem that NO ONE could ever take from me. I have faith that is stronger than ever and most importantly where I have a home with a husband that loves me unconditionally and takes me for who I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

choosing love, happiness, life, love, marriage, Uncategorized

Timeline

My Life Plan (Plan B)

As I think about all the things I wanted to accomplish and things I’ve already have. I can’t help but think to myself, did I do it in the wrong order? Is there even a correct order for things to be done? School, work, save money, get engaged, get married, buy a home and build a family. If we think about it people will always believe that is the “correct” or right way of doing things but is it really?

I used to believe there was a specific way to do things. I was that girl who wanted to do it all in order. I HAD A TIMELINE. Which at the end I never followed. Thinking about it now if I would have followed my timeline, I would probably not be sitting here typing my thoughts. I’d probably still be in a school somewhere stressing or maybe be done with it. I would probably still be dating my husband and be super stressed out about life and why my life isn’t going according to my timeline.

When my husband and I decided to get married, I hadn’t even finished my degree. We had no clue where to even start. We had no idea how much money we needed to have or anything. We winged it and went day by day. We decided to set a date and tell our immediate family. We went on that year in college and finished our Associate’s degree that spring. He already had his career going and I was just getting started with mine. That year we began to save and see where life would take us from there.

A year later without being married, my husband started talking about where we would live. We had an idea we wanted to own a home before tying the knot but weren’t sure if it was an option yet. My husband has always been a businessman and said owning a property would be a much better investment than renting a home or apartment. So we set out to look for our home and found it 4 months before we were set to get married. Honestly, my heart dropped. I was excited, confused and scared. I was worried about what we got ourselves into. I was worried about our timeline.

Let me tell you guys it has been one of the best decisions and blessings of our lives. Having your own home and having your privacy is amazing and much needed! Thinking of my beliefs and our timeline I decided I would not move in yet. Our parents, my husband, and his family are very traditional and we all agreed on waiting to live together until after we got married. That is something I am definitely proud of because it was worth the wait and was part of my timeline.

Looking at our lives now and the turns the world takes is amazing. We didn’t follow the complete order of my timeline, but we are happy and that is all that matters. Everything now we are just taking day by day. I have a whole lifetime to get things done and now I have someone to be with me in all my journeys. I feel so much more motivated to do bigger and better things for my husband and our future family. As of now, we don’t have a timeline. We are just taking life day by day and following the path God has for us.

 

 

happiness, life, love, Uncategorized

Life is too short . .

Memories and love is all that are left of us when we leave this world. We won’t take anything with us. All the materialistic stuff and all the money we have will stay behind. We will only take all our memories, regrets and dreams along. Our families will be left with everything that once matter to us, but I bet you they would appreciate the memories with us more than anything else we left behind.

A couple of months ago I vowed to grow and live my life to the best of my ability. If I’m being quite honest here, I have not been doing my job. I’ve been stuck in my bad thoughts and the negativity that hopefully will exit my body soon. I’ve allowed unimportant things affect my life and health. Part of growing and living a healthier life is pushing forward and staying positive which I strive to do everyday.

I’ve come to learn that life can be so short and fragile. One minute you’re here and then in a blink of an eye you’re not. Imagine spending your evening getting ready for the following day. Packing your lunch, ironing your clothes and brushing your teeth all to go to bed and wake up in the morning. What if this morning you didn’t wake up? What if you passed away in your sleep? What would be your first thought?

Recently my husband’s family had a family member pass away. Someone very young with so much life ahead of them. I’m not getting much into detail because it is too personal for the family. I think at this point the families main thoughts are what would have been is now what could have been. What she was going live and experience that she’ll never live now. This experience is very eye opening for everyone. It really makes you evaluate your life and see what truly matters.

I hope that when time ever runs out for me, I accomplished everything I set out to do. I want to look back and realize I didn’t miss out on the best years of my life. I want to know I lived a full life filled with lots of lessons and love. Life is so short to be spent on regrets, sadness, and anger. My life here on this earth is so precious and I need to live it the best to my ability.

 

 

 

 

life, love, toxic

Too much love

Is there a thing as loving too much? Or caring too much about someone?

Could too much love or attention hurt someone rather than help them? In any relationship should love and attentions be measured? How much love is too little or too much?

Personally in my own life I am a strong lover. I love immensely, deeply and madly. I care so much for my love ones, especially my sisters they are my world. I’ve always thought that too much love when it comes to them can be a little toxic. Sometimes I know I can be a little too much to handle. I need to give them enough love, tough love and space as well.

My sister Jass is the perfect example of an expert at giving tough love. She literally gives everyone tough love especially me. She doesn’t sugar coat things and I admire her so much for that. She has taught me so much especially how to be a better person. Jasmine has the type of personality that you can only give her so much love before she gets annoyed or tells you not to touch her or especially hug her. She hates hugs. I love hugs I’m a huger and sometimes I’ll hug her just to piss her off LOL

My other sister is the complete opposite of Jass and myself. She is the baby, she loves attention and love. According to her she hates when we baby her, but honestly we all know how sensitive she is and if we don’t show her love she’s like “what am I, a roach?” She has such a funny humor and sass. She’s a little sassy version of me. I love to give her so many attentions and love, but I know spoiling her isn’t always best. She can be so loving when she gets her way and it makes me so happy when she comes around and shows me more affection than usual, but she can also be so sassy when she’s in a bad mood.

I feel like each person in a way can only handle so much love. whether it’s needed or desired. Love is like power, give someone too much power and it gets to their head. Love can be measured and honestly in my opinion it should only be given when deserved. Sometimes you give lots of love and attentions to someone who won’t truly appreciate it or acknowledge it. Love can be powerful, but can also be dreadful it can drain you and make you toxic when it has been given to the wrong people.

happiness, life, love, marriage

5 Things you wish you knew before you got married.

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1. Love is not ENOUGH to sustain a healthy marriage. Loving each other immensely is very important, but just love it self will not hold your marriage together. Marriage requires time, attention and love. Think of your marriage as a plant. Plants require nurture, water and sun. You can’t expect your plant to survive if you don’t give it the attention it needs.

2. The house is not self cleaning. Cleaning is something you both will either be good at or completely horrible at *inserts @ Husband name* LOL

My “Clean” is not my husbands “clean.” He has a whole different way of cleaning on his own which I personally like to call “Half ass cleaning.” Cleaning or getting used to a cleaning routine will definitely be difficult at first.

3. You won’t always agree. I’d be lying if I said my husband and I always agree and we’re always on the same page. We do agree on major decisions, but sometimes I disagree just for fun. Just kidding LOL

Not but seriously some times agreeing on certain things is difficult, but having good communication skills and listening to one another helps a lot.

4. It’s not just you anymore its US. Before I said  ” I do” Fr. Jaime made it very clear that we would become one. He honestly had a point there. Oscar and I have always had a very good communicative relationship, but now its on a whole new different level. Our love has grown and flourish so wonderful these past couple months. He is truly my soul mate and it excites me to think of all the wonderful things we will face together.

5. It has been worth it all. Marrying my husband has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. I honestly feel I won the lottery with this man. He is such an inspiration to me and all who know him. Oscar is such a kind hearted man. He loves to see the good in all, which is the complete opposite of myself. He completes me and I can’t imagine my life with out my husband.

 

I love you bear!